Dear Vince, bless him, called me on Friday night to tell me about another incident in Palestine. As he reminded me of events a few weeks ago in which somebody next to Alice had been crushed to death, I felt an eery, shocking feeling coming on.
My worst fear was not to be confirmed. Not my friend Alice, but another of her new friends in Palestine was critically wounded on Friday. He was shot in the head while rescuing two young girls from Israeli sniper fire in a street.
Tom Hurndall was a photographer and peace activist, shot in the head on Friday, and soon diagnosed as brain dead. Current reports are that his body is being maintained on life support machines in a hospital in Israel, but he remains comatose. Most reports say that he is brain dead, although one quotes an Israeli nurse saying that he is not.
In my mind I have replayed again and again how I would react if it were Alice that was shot. I still don't know. Probably by hating everyone. Next time I see you I may smile, and I will keep my fantasies about ripping your body to pieces to myself.
Personally I have not felt so overwhelmed as I did when Rachel was killed a few weeks ago. I've just been through a strange kind of grief; I do not wish to do the same again. I'm getting quite depressed though.
There is too much hypocrisy in the world. It is overwhelming. I do not see much hope. Little wonder that I have difficulty seeing anything worthwhile for me to do with my life in the midst of it! (Amazing things are possible in my dreams, and I have the knowledge to implement some of them. But what for? More violence?)
Yesterday I read that former Baath party members will be policemen in the new Iraq, and an American company, DynCorp, whose employees traded 12-year old girls as prostitutes will be overseeing the policing operation. Saddam Hussein is gone; I do not trust the successor. Do you?
I'm nowhere near the most awful suffering and senseless violence of this world, but I need hugs and more nevertheless. Pray for me; I am praying for you. And for Tom.
There is some hope, thankfully.
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